Sunday, 2 August 2015

The Doctor's Visit every woman dreads

Photo: Jo's Cervical Cancer Trust


There is nothing more important in the world than your health! At the age of 25 every woman (registered with a GP) gets a lovely letter from the NHS inviting them to attend what's described as some kind of clinical S&M session. I haven't had mine yet (I've only been 25 for 2 weeks) I have however, got up close and personal with a Doctor very recently. 

I cannot stress enough the importance of women keeping an eye on their bits. I hate the term "survivor" but my Mum had the full-house, she went all out and got Ovarian, Uterine and Cervical cancer. She's somewhat of a lady bits pro (although she now has not bits left). This isn't some kind of heart wrenching survival story; it's simply a commentary on the complete and awkwardness involved in getting rummaged around down there by your Doctor. 

It is absolutely mortifying; there is nothing worse than climbing onto a bed covered in a big sheet of kitchen roll and having someone start "preparing" what looks like a rocket to put up your Hoo Ha. The Speculum, which should be given a friendlier name like, Foo Foo checker is launched (gently inserted) into there as you lie there like something not too dissimilar from the corpse of Mr Toad, with the soles of your feet placed together in some kind of foot prayer begging for mercy. Just as you think it couldn’t get any worse, a cranking sound is heard like something from Silent Hill, the Doctor becomes one of those faceless nurses and you anticipate the walls flaking away and a guy with a cone head and big sword to walk in the room…

What happens is much worse, the rocket is removed, and as you breathe a sigh of relief the words “feel” and “around” are heard you watch as Wreck it Ralph puts on his gloves and explains how he’s going to feel between your Ovaries…yep, BETWEEN YOUR OVARIES.

This, calls for another foot prayer and as you close your eyes wishing you had the rocket back there because, Ralph’s gargantuan hands crawling up what definitely must be your oesophagus by now was, more bearable and less personal than this.

As horrific and traumatising as the event is, imagine discovering you’re infertile later on in life after months of attempting to conceive, imagine having all your reproductive organs removed in a bid to save your life because you had Ovarian Cancer, Imaging dying because you didn’t go to the Doctor when you were advised to for a quick, awkward and uncomfortable procedure that could save your life.

1/3 of women in their 20’s don’t go for their Smear Tests, the number of women aged between 25 -30 diagnosed with Cervical Cancer has risen by 4.8 percent in the space of a year according to Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, this is due to the falling numbers of young women having Cervical Screening tests. Shockingly 1/3 young women are not being screened for Cervical Cancer in the UK.

So Ladies, don’t be that 1/3, pull your big girl panties up (or down) and  go and get tested, prodded, checked, poked, embarrassed, humiliated and made uncomfortable for the benefit if your health. If you’re under 25 and feel that you’d like to get checked by a Doctor, book an appointment with your GP, there is nothing stopping you from getting any help you need and it so worth it. 

All statistics were provided by Jo's Cancer Trust. 


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