25 things I haven't got at 25




When you're younger, you think that 25 is massive mile stone, it's half way to 30 which is the epitome of grown up. It's 1/4 of 100, assuming you're going to live that long, you've already lived a whole flipping quarter of your life...potentially more! You would assume that by 25 I would've got certain things down to a tee you know, be a proper fully fledged grown up. Although I can write epic grown up sounding emails and work storage heaters and understand politics, there are plenty of other things that I just don't get and, I don't think I ever will. Here's a list of 25 things I'm failing at 25 years old. 

1. Sorting pasta portions! Pasta for two? yep...I've made enough for eight! 

2. Dressing corporately. Oh, it was going so well, black jumper, black trousers, suede boots and a charcoal mac..what's that on your head Issy? Why it's a scrunchie and I'm re-living my 90's childhood in the office! 

3. I can't eat one Babybel! I just can't, I only buy them on offer and in Light to help my body.

4. I can't handle shots, I'm giving them up. I'm at that age where a Maccies and a Luqozade don't cure hangovers and I need to write a whole day off, they're not worth the hassle. 

5. What is Snapchat? What's wrong with Instagram? What do these numbers mean? Why is there a penis on my screen? If you can't answer any of these questions then delete the app and forget about it.

6. I don't like prawns and I've never liked prawns. The next person that tells me to try them again is going to get slapped with a prawn!

7. Unless you're on Three and managed to bag the unlimited data allowance please for the love of the baby Jesus buy some more data because a £90 bill isn't pretty when you have bills and debts to pay off! 

8. So spots aren't just a phase and you don't hit a certain grown up age and have clear skin, they stay with you and age with you. I always thought that they crept off skin when they got older and landed on some younger, fresher face...nope. 

10. HOW seriously how the hell do some people end up with tens of thousands of pounds in their savings accounts? Where do these people live? What do they eat? Do they ever spend money? 

11. Hands up if you haven't sent a Christmas card since year 6 when it was cool. ME! Then I started working in a grown up office with real life grown ups who sent christmas cards! 

12. If you're still scared of the dark and have to run up the stairs after you've turned the light off because there's a monster chasing you, please be aware than this monster will chase you for the remainder of your life and you will be forced to lie to your children and say it's not there. 

13. WTF IS MATHS?!?

14. Chopsticks are an exceptional skill that I will not have 

15. Only Anthea Turner can fold a double fitted bed sheet, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it.

16. Who thought that by this age you'd have grown up dinner parties with friends? Well, you can try but you'll soon be rolling around the floor. 

17. You know that mate that got too drunk and aggressive, stupid or emotional when your were 18? Yeah? Well that mate will still be a knob at 25. This is why the elderly don't go out, they know humans are idiots and can't handle alcohol. 

18. I sob at the thought of the Fox and the Hound, anyone else getting soft in their old age, don't even bother watching Homeward Bound, The Lion King or Black Beauty. 

19. I've looked at 18 year olds and wondered what the hell they think they're wearing...this is my future. 

20. Pro rata and per anum sound like spells...boring spells.

21. I don't check my bank balance a week before payday because it's too depressing and I just blag and pray through my shopping 

22. I can't buy biscuits, I will eat the whole packet when I'm home alone because there's no one to tell me I can't.

23. I should have some standards when it comes to wine....I don't, give me the cheapest and give me enough of it so it stops tasting cheap. 

24. I've nearly burnt the house down on three occasions in my life and I still leave the hobs on. I expect to succeed in burning a house down in my future. 

25. I spend time blogging rather than putting washing on, showering or general boring grown up stuff. 

CONVERSATION

3 comments:

  1. Hahahah this is a great post and cheered me up! I'm on a long bus journey at the minute bored or of my head so I'm glad you posted this as I had a little giggle and agreed with most of them, even though I'm only 19! I still run up the stairs thinking I'm being chased my monsters lol and oh my gosh the fox and the hound.... I used to bawl my eyes out at that I need to watch that again soon, Lion King is my fave! Xxx
    Becky Shannon xx - Life-by-Becky

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG pasta and rice portions are the worst like hi, I've just cooked enough rice to feed the entire neighbourhood. I don't like prawns and my mum always gets angry at me for taking them out of a dish because they're the 'most expensive' part! Haha, I'm almost 21 and still scared of the dark but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone. This was a hilarious read, thanks for sharing!

    Sally ~ DiagonSally

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahahaha yes!!! I am still like portion control what is that! There isn't such a thing in an african household, i thought paella pan size portions are normal haha. Love love this post still chuckling at the hangover one as that is very real x
    www.whatrosiewrote.com

    ReplyDelete