Talking (or not talking ) about Sex

We are now more sexually open than ever. We live in a time where sex is everywhere, adverts, tv shows, blogs, social media, go out to a club and you can guarantee that someone is getting something in the corner. I've almost become desinsitised to sex being everywhere, I watched Big Brother last week and didn't bat an eye lid at Chloe and Bear's second shower or, Marnie and Lewis declaring their undying love before engaging in their what nots in the loo. There are some brilliant bloggers out there candidly discussing sex with the inclusion of images with insightful and informative points being made. Whilst I think It's great that sex is becoming less of a taboo, I am also a bit of a prude. 

It's very easy for those who feel completely liberated and ease with discussing to sex to immediately jump down my throat and blame my internalised misogyny *eye roll* for my prudishness but that isn't the case. I don't like discussing sex or my sex life because it's private, it's something between my partner not the whole world and his dog (did I get that saying right?). Now, don't be thinking that I'm going against all the hard work of the legend that is Victoria Woodhull (probably one of my favourite feminists of all time - this woman was pretty radical even going by todays standards) I agree that we should be allowed to boink who we want, when we want and where we want (within reason) and discuss it to our heart's content. However, if you come across someone like myself, who doesn't want to discuss it - don't judge them. 

Whilst we're wrapped up in the dreams of free love and breaking taboos it's very easy to forget those people, like myself who are completely satisfied with their sex lives and sex in general but don't find it a fulfilling conversational topic. It's ok to not want to talk about it. It's ok to find sex scenes on TV uncomfortable and it's ok not want see pictures of people in the nud. For me, sex is not just a mechanical act, it's special and emotional and therefore not something I feel anyone needs to know about. I also don't have any interest on what other people are getting up to between the sheets - I'm not involved, therefore it doesn't effect me ergo why would I wanna know? Y'know?
The old school origins of sexual freedom aren't about sharing the details your sex life all over the shot, it's about women having the right to choose to be as open as they want "Sexual freedom means the abolition of prostitution both in and out of marriage, means the emancipation of woman and her coming into control of her own body" If I don't want to talk about something it's because I am choosing not to, which I have a right to do - the reasons being it are no body's business, I'm simply executing my right that no body else has a right to question. Ya get me? 

Again, I'm all for breaking unnecessary taboos and making topic more accessible for younger generations to discuss, if a younger or older member for that matter of my family needed to discuss something intimate with me I would a be all for it but if someone wanted to tell me how they like  it and where and when I would kindly remind them that I have no use for this information. There's a difference between breaking taboos and standing up for something and being out right exhibitionist - either of which is perfectly fine but the latter isn't something I would be comfortable with. 

So, to anyone out there who is a little prude like me and blushes at the back of Anne Summers and cringes during sex scenes, you're ok! You're not a slut shamer, you're not a slave to your internalised misogyny and there's nothing wrong with you. You have a different level of comfort that you have a right to. Here's to all the quietly sexually free prudes out there. 



  1. It's so good of you to address this - I'm definitely not one for talking about sex with anyone other than my partner, and I don't really want to hear about it from anyone else either! I love that people are really open and honest about things on their blog, and it's great that they can talk about it, but for me, well, it's old fashioned but I'm just not into talking in-depth about all that stuff. I still get awkward when sex scenes come on TV hahaha. Great post! x