Monday, 16 July 2018

I'm not a "Mummy Blogger"

I always wanted to blog abut our parenting experience but I never wanted to be a "Mummy Blogger", I just don't have that whole wholesome advice giving yummy mummy vibe going on nor do I follow a specific parenting technique unless of course completely winging it counts? I've also found that some Mummy Bloggers can either be a little smug with their advice and methods and not be open to anyone else's or it often be a competition over who has it worse when it comes to teething, sleepless nights feeding issues. Without meaning to come across as smug; I've been blessed with a wonder baby who sleeps through, eats all his milk and doesn't seem to be suffering too much with teething, yet. I'm under no illusions that this could all change at any time. 


My aim with my parenting-related posts isn't to give people advice or come across like a smug tw*t who suddenly knows everything about bringing up a baby. I want this to be a blog where you can come and laugh at my fails, find some comfort in the things I talk about that other people don't and if there is any, get some guidance or tips but most of all, I want people to relate to our family and not feel like we're trying to be perfect or lie to you about how it is so, here's some parenting realness served by yours truly:

Luke and I really struggled to bond after having Freddie, whilst we were thrilled to have our little baby it was a long time before we were able to be intimate again and we got stuck in a routine without really connecting to one another and had to make a call of calling it quits or working it out. We're still working through it but that's what relationships are, they're hard work and we've gone through a massive life changing experience and just need to find us again. I think it's perfectly normal for couples to lose that connection a little after something like this and I'm glad we talked about it before it was too late and we started resenting one another.

I don't like my post-partum body at all, whilst I'm not ashamed of it and happily wave my saggy boobs and clap my thighs together I still don't like it. I don't feel like me and I want my body back. There's so many woman out there banging on about loving their mummy tummies and stretch marks you can almost feel ashamed for feeling the opposite way but it's ok to, it's your body and you're allowed to feel how you want about it.


Sometimes babies are really annoying, there I said what we all think at least once a week. They'll lie and tell you they're going to have a nap but what they're really telling you is that as soon as you're about to do something they're going to do that whinge and insist you let them sit on your knee so they can just dribble all over your arm for an hour just because they can.

I've hurt Freddie twice; one time I accidentally scraped his back on the wooden part of his moses basket when I tried to put him to bed and another time I was cradling him and bumped his head on the doorframe as I walked into the kitchen. Lets be real here, you are going to accidentally hurt your baby at some point and you will definitely think that social services are going to burst through the door moments after.

Maternity pay is crap and HMRC will often screw up your tax credits and leave you scraping by each month, people don't often talk about how broke having a baby makes you but most people end up with an empty fridge and crying themselves to sleep half way through the month. Not everyone can afford a million fancy outfits for their baby, a few prams to choose from, swimming classes and the bestest most instagrammable organic purees but don't feel like a failure, shout out to all the broke Mums skipping meals to feed their babies!

So there you have it, some of the less talked about realities of being a parent. 



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10 comments

  1. Oh I love this Issy and this is also one of the many reasons I love you because you just talk straight fact rather that sugar coated shit. You know my feelings on the Mummy Blogger brigade, literally can't abide by it but I like to share what we do ourselves, like you. Thanks for always being real! It means so much to many xxx

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  2. I am not a parent, and I love your posts! They are so real and candid and honest!

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  3. Issy this is so true - all of it. Relationships are hard work without kids - then suddenly the whole relationship is stretched to accommodaTE another person and it takes time to adjust. It's fight or flight x

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  4. Love this so much. This is why I'm such a huge fan of your blog, your Insta, YOU! You're just so real and honest and it makes me laugh. I am so here for realism. x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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  5. I love this and how brutally honest it is.
    I think you’re doing a great job and I’m glad you and Luke are in a better place now too.

    http://littlemissmelanie.com

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  6. It's nice to see such an honest post! You're a fantastic mum because you're REAL. x

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  7. This is such a great post - life is complicated enough and i'm sure adding a little person to the mix can be both amazing and tough.
    Em x
    https://happywiseowl.com/

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  9. I love how honest your post was. I could definitely relate to a lot of what you said. Continue to keep it real

    http://thetrousseaudiaries.com

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  10. I love love love you, your blog and your real approach to everything! I don’t have any babies yet but my sister and brother do and I know from them that it isn’t a bed of Instagram worthy photos, endless funds and swimming lessons! You are doing an amazing job and I know you and Luke will get even stronger!
    Rosie

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