Six months ago I was getting very tired and uninspired with my mealtime situation, being knackered after work feeling the effects of the cost of living increasing, and not being motivated to cook an exciting meal for one (my kid's diet is beige) left me in a food rut. I was eating the same meal every evening just for the sake of having something to eat, it was boring and bland and I was so deep into the tortellini and cheese rigmarole that I'd forgotten what other food I liked or how to cook and searching for never-ending lists of ingredients on Asda online was overwhelming and draining...and then I spotted someone's Hello Fresh free box offer on social media and wondered...could this be a good idea for me?

I initially signed up to take advantage of the recipes on offer, and get some inspiration rather than make it a long-term commitment. I absolutely wouldn't have considered signing up if I didn't have a code and I wouldn't have thought that Hello Fresh could be a sustainable option for one little adult and half a human, especially during a seemingly never-ending cost of living crisis but I'm six months into this Hello Fresh gig and don't see any red flags large enough to call it quits yet. 

I won't lie, I started this post 5 months ago and can't remember how much of a discount I got, the wording was something along lines of 'have a free box' but as we all know, nothing in life is free unless it's other people's emotional baggage and unnecessary drama and I had to pay postage which, I can't complain about because as I said, I wasn't even in this for the long haul. For those who don't know, Hello Fresh is a meal subscription service, you choose however many meals you need for however many days from an extensive menu and receive it in the post with all the ingredients meticulously measured with instructions so basic that even my mother can follow them, (seriously, she's a shit cook but she signed up and I don't dread being invited for dinner anymore). 

As well as the plethora of meal options, there is also the ability to select options in accordance with your dietary preferences, such as mostly meat vegetarian, pescatarian and calorie smart, etc. Would be absolutely fab if there were Gluten and Dairy Free options but we can live in hope. I signed up for 2 meals a week with servings for 2 people thinking that depending on the portion sizes, I could have enough for meals the next day and potentially dish some up for Fred to turn his nose up and demand nuggets. The total cost of my first box way back in January was £30.99, which included the postage fee of £4.00 which I consider to be quite reasonable as it is delivered by courier on Sundays without fail. For the first few months Hello Fresh worked out how to play, and this was by offering an additional meal a week for £1, it was a no-brainer a whole meal for two people for an extra was basically saving money. This extra £1 meal went on for quite a while and I got comfy in the situation but Hello Fresh wanted to keep me on my toes and BANG, an extra meal a week was suddenly £4.70 per serving and here I am paying £38.39 a week and feeling slightly suspicious that Hello Fresh costs are going to creep up on a similar trajectory to my EDF bill, with the only difference being that I can unsubscribe from Hello Fresh and only troll EDF on Twitter. 

Another sneaky tactic of Hello Fresh's is to add additional fees to some of the meal options on the menu, you could be looking at a banging picture of some Crispy Chicken Strip Tacos and then spot that there's an extra £2.99 per serving for this meal and then find yourself questioning all your life choices. So, to save money (I know, the irony of talking about saving money when I am getting boxes of food sent to me for nearly £40 a week is not lost on me either) is to not order meals where there are sneaky hidden costs and skip by the 'Extras' section where you can buy a cheeky Ciabatta for lunch and GU pud and just stick to the basic (but very tasty) meals on offer. The big question is: is Hello Fresh an affordable alternative/addition to a weekly food shop? and the answer (for me and my situation) is yes. I find that the portion sizes are generous enough to be able to provide a meal for myself, enough for Fred (to not eat), and a further adult portion that I can either box up for lunch at work the following day or, heat up for another evening meal which means that I am actually paying nearly £40 for 6 meals per week including Fred. I then pay around £40-50 per week for my general groceries including snacks, bread, milk, etc, and cat food bringing my total weekly amount spent on food to around £70-75 a week considering the current economic climate and the fact that none of us can afford to live anymore, pretty reasonable (again, for me and my situation). 

My Hello Fresh subscription has certainly got me out of my food rut, I've been able to explore new tastes and styles of cooking and can finally cook rice perfectly as well as discover the point in aubergines, uses for crème fraîche, and a passion for cooking and experimenting with flavours. I no longer finish work and dread the palava of cooking dinner. I follow the instructions, whack a podcast on and enjoy spending time in the kitchen. I'm now confident enough to not have to check the menu cards every five minutes and adapt and recreate meals to my own taste. There are weeks when I don't add that additional meal because buying the ingredients from Asda is more affordable or I fancy something else. This newly established enthusiasm for cooking has rubbed off on Fred because despite slating him throughout this post, during the last few weeks he has been willingly eating his meals and genuinely enjoying them. 

Will I keep up with Hello Fresh indefinitely? I can't say, it's an easy option at the moment but whether it's a long long-term commitment will depend on how much more the Tories want to punish single working parents (and everyone else) over the next few months and how rich EDF thinks I am October but for now, HellowFresh, despite the sneaky tactics and hidden costs as exceeded my expectations and served a purpose that has had a positive impact on me and Fred which was an unexpected plot twist. 

The APT - Prototype (not pictured)

Miniature Railway 

Exhibition Centre 

Signal Boxes

The Centre has three signal boxes, I don't know much about signal boxes but one centre having signal boxes is pretty impressive to me. The Crewe North Junction Signal box is situated at the very end of the centre and has a gift shop and cafe underneath. From the top of the signal box Crewe station is clearly visible allowing train enthusiasts to not only have a nosey around some trains, tiny trains and even teenier trains but to then have a look at some real-life working trains as they whizz by. It's mind-blowing stuff.

Crewe Heritage Centre needs support now more than ever, it's entirely funded by donations and managed and worked by volunteers. We all know Crewe doesn't have the widest range of activities and places to visit so let's not let this gem fall victim to COVID restrictions and have to close. 

 Hair Extension tips from someone who has had them for a month 😅

I did it! After spending the last three and a half years working really hard at ruining my hair by bleaching at home with box dye, getting it all cut off, dying it brown and then getting the straw like remanence of what was once a full head of hair professionally lightened again I finally bit the bullet and got 200g of someone else's hair attached to my head to help me not hate myself every time I see my reflection. 

I'd been wanting extensions ever since I got it cut or short but they're expensive and way out of my budget I would've hated my short hair less if there weren't so many layers (necessary because of the damage) making impossible to style but thanks to a very generous amount of birthday money I was able to start shopping around for quotes and info. I had decided that I definitely wanted to go for Nano rings, my best mate has had them as well as other friends and they seemed the longer lasting method and easy to maintain.

Shop around 

At first I started looking at a variety of salons and tried to work out prices etc. but with the extension industry being a competitive market, not many salons and stylists are comfortable with transparently sharing prices and those that do mostly only share the cost of hair and estimated costs for fittings; I also so noticed that some also have hidden costs for drying and styling afterwards and often push sales for products and I didn't want to end up spending money on things that I didn't need so I started looking at mobile stylists and noticed a slight decrease / more transparency in prices and more flexibility with appointments. 

Research Research Research

Being completely new to Extension Land meant that I had to spend time looking at bad and good extension fittings on YouTube, knowing the quality of service and product that I wanted to pay more made me picky with who I went with and less likely to invest money in poor extensions and a poor job. Things to look out for include a perfect colour match, flawless blend, enough hair at the top of the head and Nano rings that are flat to the head rather than poking out. I queried prices with one stylist and she said she could to a colour match via photo, I appreciate that this is possible in most instances but I wanted to a face to face consultation before I booked a fitting or paid for hair. In the end I found the perfect stylist who had reasonable prices, no hidden fees and did a really professional job, explaining each step and the aftercare needed and as a bonus we had a really good laugh during the few hours that it took to fit them in.

Prepare for pain 

Pain might be a slight exaggeration but they're bloody uncomfortable for the first couple of days and take some getting used to I would defo recommend taking some paracetamol before bed on the first night, the tight sensation combined with the feeling of having loads of little bits of metal stuck to your head makes finding a comfy position to sleep a challenge. I managed to tolerate the discomfort without pain relief because I'm hard and by the third day I'd got used to the situation and barely noticed them there until I went to scratch my head and felt a bead. High up do's are a no go for a while, I can do a one-up job a week later but to be honest having my long locks down and proud is my current go-to and when I want them out of the way, I pop it all in a plait and Bob is your actual Uncle.

Looking after them 

Aftercare was one of my biggest worries, I'd heard nightmares of extensions matting or falling out and I wasn't prepared to invest a tonne of money into something to end up destroying it after the first wash. I looked into the best and affordable shampoos and conditioners and found that the OGX Nourishing + Coconut Milk range is working wonders on keeping my extensions and natural hair clean and soft, it's also paraben and sulphate free which is really important when it comes to extensions. I use a heat protector spray when styling as well as leave in conditioner and Phillip Kinglsey Bond Builder Split End Remedy which is an absolute miracle worker, you don't have it, get it. I also make sure that I exclusively use a tangle teaser brush or something similar - basically a brush without bobbles at the ends of the bristles to reduce snagging and pulling and always fully dry it before bed and plait it. 

Washing and Styling

Washing was the thing I was most daunted by when it came to getting extensions, I won't lie, before I had them I was prone to a quick dunk in the bath and rinse with the shower head after but extensions need to be washed in the shower with the head titled back to reduce matting and knotting and oh my god it felt like a weight was dragging me down when I first got them wet! I'm completely used to it now have got into a good routine of not washing them to often (twice a week) and making sure they're thoroughly clean. I start with massaging shampoo very gently into my scalp ensuring that I don't disturb the rings but also getting in all the nooks and crannies and then allowing that shampoo to rinse into the lengths and sort of rub it in with a top up of shampoo, I then add lots of conditioner to the lengths and the ends of my natural whilst avoiding the rings and roots and then leave it in for a couple of minutes to soak in the moisturising goodness. I allow my hair to air dry for as long as possible and then go over it with the hair dryer to make sure it's 100% dry and then style as usual. I tend to only use heat on my hair when I was it and straighten it, plaiting it each night gives it a nice subtle wave that lasts all day and using minimal heat reduces damage and wear. 

Would I get them again?

Absolutely, categorically a big massive yes. My hair has always been part of my identity almost like a comfort blanket and having it short made me feel less confident. I think I'm in a good enough routine to get longevity out of my current hair and will definitely invest in getting more until my natural hair has grown to a length that I'm comfortable with. There's various conversations about the risks that extensions pose to the integrity of natural hair but this something that I'll assess and make a final decision about when I have a maintenance fitting in a few weeks. For now, I am loving my long locks. 

 Upon returning to worth three months post-stroke I had a plethora of emotions. The first being that it was too soon and it was, but I also knew deep down that if I didn’t go back there and then that I would never work again so I bit the bullet and headed to the office. Whilst I wanted my colleagues to treat me as though nothing had happened and ignore my crooked face and barely-there memory, I also wanted them to wrap me up on cotton wool, preferably sit right next to me and check my blood pressure all day and tell me it was going to be ok. 

Neither happened, I was met with stroke jokes, called Picasso (it was genuinely the reaction I needed) and I was treated as though I was capable of everything and I sort of was but my crippling health anxiety was holding me back, big time. At this point, I was terrified of the embarrassment of it happening again, in front of people who I didn’t know that well. You see, being wheeled off in an ambulance in front of my mum wasn’t that bad (for me, she found it harrowing) but the thought of it happening in front of other people terrified me and the fear of having a stroke and dying at my desk was all I could think about for months.

This didn’t pass, but I soon found confidence in my colleagues and was able to express my concerns and let them know when I was having a wobble or a funny turn and was comforted and reassured to a point where I could cope again. The misconception thanks to the glamorisation of anxiety is that we sit and hyperventilate but my panic attacks are silent; to an onlooker, I’m sitting at my desk calmly typing away but I can feel my heart palpitating, my left arm going numb and my vision blurring and all I am thinking is that it's happening again. Cruelly, the symptoms of panic are similar to those of a stroke or heart attack both of which I am at risk of. 

For over a year I took regular trips to the office toilet to breathe myself out of panic, I googled heart attack symptoms, ran outside for fresh air, and got my blood pressure checked on my lunch. All these things seem somewhat dramatic but they were my coping mechanisms. I became comforted in the fact that should the worst happen there were people around me who would act instantly, they’d comfort me and get me the help I needed, whilst the office became a trigger for my panic it also became a place of safety. 

And then we were sent home. 

Working from home was a novelty back in March 2020, I didn’t have to get dressed, do the nursery run or have to do the “how was your weekend” chat every Monday morning over and over. I could work in bed, on the sofa, and even in the garden on the warmer days. My Mum was living with us and Fred wasn’t at nursery so the house became a little hub of activity and I look back at the first lockdown with fondness at the memories we created and the fun we managed to have. But the reality soon kicked in that this working from home lark was anything but, it was the new normal, we were given new devices, headsets and the days of wandering around the house with my Macbook were long gone, we have designated, risk assessed work stations, Teams meetings, instant messaging and the “how was your weekend” in-office chats are a thing of the past. 

Along with the acceptance of change and an enthusiasm to crack on and make it work came the anxiety that I’d thought I’d left behind but this time it had mutated into ‘you’re all alone at home for eight hours a day, If anything happened no one would know’ and so the palpitations, cold sweats, numb arm, and blurred vision ensued and with that came the challenge of finding new ways to cope. Weirdly, housework became my coping mechanism - not in an obsessive-compulsive way, if I felt my chest tightening and my heart racing I'd quickly go and wash the dishes or give downstairs a quick hoover or start sorting - because you can't run around and clean your house and have a stroke or heart attack, it's just not a thing, at some point, your body would make you stop and mine never did. My house has never been as clean and tidy and I'm yet to have another stroke. 

Working from home, not seeing anyone in-person during the day, having meetings via Teams, and pretty much living in isolation soon became the norm but so did the cold sweats, palps, and pains, it amalgamated into my daily routine and I forgot what it was to feel 'normal' but I soon understood that my brain was tricking me; the anxiety would only rear it's head once I was home alone and never when Fred was around. It would always come around mid-morning ad just after lunch so I began to anticipate it and in doing so, it soon backed off to live in the very back of my head where it's sort of allowed to be. There was a shift after Christmas, the time off allowed me to relax, properly relax and my only concern was whether we were going to run out of cheese or batteries for the many, many battery-operated toys Fred had been given for Christmas and when I returned to work I felt restored and refreshed. It's now been 2 and a half months since I last felt chest pains and I've realised that I need a break, I can't burn the candle at both ends and do the Mum stuff and the work stuff continuously and forever. 

Working from home gives the illusion that we're not working as hard as we would in our usual setting but if anything most of us are working harder than ever, the pressure of doing enough work to make sure our bosses don't think we're skiving and the inability to escape our homes all mounts up and not to mention the complete loneliness and lack of in-person human contact is enough to send anyone's brain a bit squiffy but the one blessing that working from home has provided is that I've been able to prove to my employer that when I really have to, I can work from home and take care of Fred which has allowed me to have enough annual leave leftover at the end of the year to take a couple of days off for myself and rest and actually relax. This time last year I was burning out, my leave had been taken up by time off to take care of Fred and there was none left for me or both of us to have fun with and my only option was to keep going until I physically couldn't which in turn affected my sickness record and caused more anxiety. 

My message to anyone who is struggling with lockdown and health-related anxiety is to allocate your time wisely; you cannot do and be everything, it's just not possible. Where you can, take time to rest do things for yourself, and find a way to distract your body from tricking you - I know it's easier said than done, Jesus it's taken me long enough to get here but it is possible. No matter how ridiculous you think your coping mechanism might be, just go with it if it works and remember that despite feeling alone there are loads of other people sitting at their make-shift home desks, feeling clammy, faint, and breathless. 

 I love Christmas, in an unhealthy way and to the point where I still believe in Father Christmas so when I came to the point in my life where I realised that I am Father Christmas I suddenly, very much understood the importance of preparation and planning. Fred’s first Christmas with just me ran smoothly, he had everything he ‘wanted’ (he was too young to want things so it was what I’d decided he’d like) and I wasn’t completely bankrupt by the end of it. This year I’ve started early, I’ve been buying stocking fillers since August and popping the festive treats in my weekly shop since they were released and I’ve decided to jot down some tips on how to make Christmas less stressful and more affordable whilst you’ve actually got some decent time left to crack on rather than after the fact. 

Don’t do a big Christmas Shop 

As I mentioned above, I’ve started popping a tin of chocolates or a bottle of sherry into my weekly food shops now rather than having to do a big shop in December and spend loads of money that I don’t really have on dinner bits and goodies. At the moment tins of chocolates of £4 each all over the place and in Asda they’re 2 for £7. To avoid temptation I’ve been shoving all the Christmas stuff on top of my wardrobe and forgetting about and I’m hoping that when it comes to doing the unavoidable Christmas food shop, it’ll just be for food and essentials because everything else will be sorted. 

Start Early 

My cousin probably starts shopping for Christmas in the December of the previous year, but she has an actual problem. Whereas I really love it and get butterflies and cry at decorations, she is on a whole other level however, I have always been envious of her ability to start early and be done by December so this year, I stepped up and started casually picking up bits that could be used for Birthdays or Christmas in February and then really going at it with the Crimbo stuff in July and if I stick to the projected trajectory and I should have everyone sorted by the end of November and that my friends, gets me going. 

Prioritise people and set a budget 

When I say prioritise people I don’t mean pick your fave Auntie and sack off the rest I mean to think of all the people you’ll be buying gifts for (including your own kid/s) and set and a budget per person and stick to it. I categorise my family into kids, Adults and finally Fred. I’ve been picking bits up for the kids in the family throughout the year and just need to add a few extras and they can be ticked off, I’ve decided on most of the adults present’s and will buy them toward the last couple of pay days before Christmas and maybe knock some off beforehand where I can. I’ve started really getting through Fred’s stocking fillers (god this sounds like I get him loads, I don’t I promise) However, Fred is obviously my priority when it comes to getting gifts and if I can ensure I’ve got some presents stashed away should something awful happen…I dunno financially or physically then it keeps me happy. 

Use Wishlists 

Back in July I created a couple of (private) Amazon Wish lists to start saving gift ideas for Fred and a family. Doing this has allowed me to keep a record of what I’m spending on people and enjoy working through knocking the items off the list. It also meant that I had a clear visual idea of what I’d got for Fred’s stocking – I never want to go overboard with stocking fillers, Fred gets easily overwhelmed with Christmas and opening gifts; last year he didn’t open his gift from me until the 27th December because he was neither interested nor ready. I want him to be able to enjoy he gifts that he has rather than chuck as much crap as possible at him to make me feel better so I’ve been really meticulous in choosing things that I know for sure he’ll make use out of and enjoy. 

The Main Present 

Urgh, dreading this one as he gets older because it’s only going to get more expensive. I don’t really have much advice to be honest huns, Fred’s still at the age where he doesn’t fully get the Crimbo life so doesn’t ask for anything which means that I decide for him. This year we’re going for the Happy Land Village thing and we’ve roped Nain in to help and will bribe her with sherry, Christmas dinner and lots of festive cheer. (Gog bless the grand ones). 

Don’t Compete with FC 

I absolutely refuse to compete with that festive f*cker when it comes to gifts, mostly because it’s not his bank balance that gets murdered in his name and also because Christmas is largely about him when it comes to little ones and I don’t want to ruin the magic by getting something of the same size from me. I also want to save money and not fork out twice because have you seen the price of Happy Land stuff? Lol What? I leave my gift for Fred until almost the very last minute because it takes me ages to decide what to get him although this year I might for  a Woody toy because he’s dead into to Toy Story (I am aware that this also means he needs a Buzz).