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1. It turns out that my nipples can get bigger – much bigger, bigger than the moon in fact.
2. That thing about glowing is a lie, I have the worst acne I’ve had since a teenager and my face is so dry that it’s falling off. Nothing but Aveeno can save me now.
3. I made Luke physically sick, I went to show him my massive bangers in a bid to be sexy. Turns out I had a huge whitehead in my cleavage (yeah, pregnancy acne doesn’t just stay on the face) Luke pointed at it and asked what it was, I looked down and proceeded to dribble on it and down my bump to which point Luke heaved. Fab.
4. My tummy is officially fluffier than Cecil’s
5. I think my teeth might fall out soon, my gums bleed every morning so my teeth are blood stained for most of the day. I’m styling it out now but after Halloween I might be a bit buggered.
6. Everyone has an opinion on how I should bring him up or, thinks it’s ok to ask personal questions like ‘how are you going to afford childcare?’, ‘why are you using Bio Oil? It’s full of nasty chemicals’ and ‘what style of parenting are you going to use?’ (Feck off)
7. Pregnancy has made me sassy, I just have less time for people’s shite these days and will tell them without hesitation – basically, I am rude.
8. Fainting is becoming normal behaviour; too hot? Faint. Bored? Faint. In a queue? Faint. Getting out of the bath? Faint out of the bath.
9. A headache is really just a headache, there isn’t any need to call 111 but it doesn’t matter if you do
10. Preggo farts are impressively toxic
11. People don’t want to sit next to the pregnant person on the train and that is fine by me
12.Don’t feel worried about not feeling the baby move, it’ll happen soon enough and is the strangest feeling ever
13. Will I ever not be tired though?
14. 3D scans are not cute
In other news, I recently popped up to Crewe to see my family and Freddie decided to kick everyone, he also got to sort of meet the legend that he's named after and I got to stuff my face with proper chips and gravy. The next time we're supposed to see him is when he's born but his Nanny has mentioned a 3D scan so that'll be exciting and terrifying.
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