pregnancy update | 32 weeks

Can you bloody believe I'm thirty two weeks pregnant? That's a half a year, I can't believe I'm pregnant at all to be honest. Pregnancy has been hard and I don't mean hard in some kind of mard arse millenial way, I mean as a process it's physically hard yet incredible what the body goes through and my god have been feeling it lately. To celebrate hitting the mile stone of the thirty two weeks I've complied a list of some of the less glamorous things about pregnancy that I didn't anticipate. 

The back ache - Oh the back ache, as someone who has never experienced back ache before, my heart goes out to anyone suffering with back pain because it's unbearable. Lying on either side hurts yet the recent medical advice making waves through the various news outlets is that lying on your back WILL KILL YOUR BABY and I've had numerous friends and relatives get in touch to make sure I'm sleeping on my side...thanks guys. 

Kicks hurt - Those subtle little flutters are a thing of the past and I now have something trying to tear his way out of my stomach and it doesn't stop, I get ready to settle for bed and he starts performing water aerobics in my bladder or in my ribs or on both sides so I can't lie in any way comfortably. He won't be laughing when he comes out and can't even roll over, ha! 

The CF - I thought this would stop, I thought, along with periods it'd be the end of all that malarky but no, there's more and panty-liners are my new best friend. 

The Sickness - it's not back like slim shady but it's creeping back, I thought I'd take a paracetomol (y'know the only pain relief I'm allowed)  a couple of weeks ago and two hours later I was reenacting that scene from the exorcist all over the bathroom and Albert. 

Acid Reflux - I didn't know what it was pre-preggo but I sure as hell do now. It's when your stomach wants to live at the back of your throat and make you feel like throwing up all the time. It doesn't mix well with paracetomol at all so you kind of have to put up with it and the back pain. 

Poo Contractions - these little beauties were something I had to google as I was convinced I was about to give birth, turns out it's just your body preparing you for contractions whilst you have a dump. Fabulous. 

The Questions - this is the time when people ask me about the birth plan that I don't have or what type of bottles I'll be using like I knew that there was a selection or what I'll be doing with the after birth, is that the baby or?

Indigestion - RENNIES DON'T WORK AND NEITHER DOES NORMAL GAVISCON YOU NEED GAVISCON ADVANCE this has been my biggest pain lately and again, something that I haven't really experienced before. There's not much worse than being absolutely starving yet unable eat anything because of the gas, the sounds and the acid. The only medical advice I've been given is to sleep sitting upright. My back lolled at that. 

Boobs - My 16 week massive bangers are now lost due to the size of my belly and look like there's nothing there. My unflattering maternity bra doesn't help perk them up either but I'm at stage where I'm so uncomfortable that I really don't care.

Farts - they just fall out, no shame

Breathlessness - I can't breathe anymore, I'm not even sure I have lungs I'm just intestines, bowel and baby

Whilst these posts seem to be highlighting all the negative aspects of pregnancy I don't I think I need to spell out that I am carrying my son in my womb...do I? Because having the privilege of doing this when it was so close to being impossible is the best thing to ever happen to me...that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to moan about my poor suffering body.