Poorly babies are absolutely terrifying, Freddie only had a cold and the week it lasted was the most stressful time of my life. I have learnt that I am terrible in an emergency when it comes to my child and that I am one of those panicky worried parents who always thinks the worst. On the Monday Freddie woke in the night which is most unusual for him because he is a sleep angel sent from the Gods of sleep. He was making this horrific wheezing sound and wouldn’t wake up. I knew it was bad when Luke shouted “ISSY CALL 999” at this point I burst into tears and felt like I was going to faint – a crap response, I know. It turns out that the sound of Luke shouting woke Freddie up who then coughed, giggled at his Dad and then thought it was a great time to have a play and say “a cat” over and over. Four hours later, one exhausted little family managed to get some sleep.

You can bet your arse that if there’s a 1/1000 chance of something happening that it will happen to me. Contraception was a big concern after having Freddie – The Depo injection is what caused my infertility so I was incredibly wary of hormonal contraception as we want more children at some point. At eight weeks post-partum I was put on the mini-pill by a GP to try and stem the bleeding a  bit, it had been going on a while and after haemorrhaging during the birth it was affecting my iron levels resulting in me needing to take iron tablets which was making me have those gargantuan iron tablet shits that are absolutely terrifying when your faj is torn to shreds. Anyway, the mini-pill didn’t work and during another faj check up with another GP, I mentioned this and she scoffed and told me that I needed to be on the combined pill to stop the bleeding and get my cycle on track. She put me on Yasmin, a pill that I remembered being on years ago but couldn’t recollect any specific issues; this time I did, I went mental and you can read about it here. 

We all know I love a fake tan, I mean, I really really love a natural tan but that doesn’t happen very often. I’m also a shameless tanner, that means that I don’t apply it with care, if I haven’t got patchy hands then I’ve not, not done it properly and I’m not too fussed about pre-tan prep. Luke is a bit different; he likes to get everything right and take…absolutely…ages…to…do…anything. So when Babushka PR got in touch and offered to send us the NYK1 Secrets tan to try out, I nominated Luke as tribute.

Urgh, I hate the term 'Mummy Shaming' but knobhead Mums doesn't have the same, twee ring to it so we'll have to make do. It bugs me when things like this are given an exclusive term because it means that not only are there enough people around doing it, but it also kind of makes it acceptable and when you put mummy in front of anything it makes it sound much less serious.