I've always been an avid reader but since having Fred I convinced myself that I didn't have time for it when the reality was that once I'd completed the morning nursery run, a day at work, the walk home from nursery, the tea, the bath, the bed and the housework all I could muster the energy to do was sit and watch Youtube and get wrapped up in the dramas of batshit people on the internet. It wasn't healthy and it wasn't actually much fun either. After watching Brain on Fire on Netflix and realising that it was based on a book, I had to download it and within 24 hours I'd devoured it and was thirsty for more.

At around the same time, the Amazon wishlist trend was bopping around twitter faster than the rona and before I knew it, I had a to be read pile longer than my shopping list and all I wanted to do was read. The re-lighting of my reading fire (that's a dodgy metaphor, I'm not burning books) has been one of the best things to happen to me in lockdown. Back at the beginning of the year I set myself the target of reading just one book a month throughout the year, we're in May and I'm on book number thirteen with an ever growing to be read pile. With my new found addiction for books only growing I am absolutely considering subscribing to the Amazon-book-prime thing because I'm not sure that I can continue to fund my habit this way. Before a little internet person pipes up about my bragging about the amount of books I read, I'm proud of the fact that I've completed a new years resolution before we're even half way through the year and not implying that my unnatural reading speed makes me "better" than anyone else, so sit down hun. 

Back to the books - Brain on Fire had me hooked, having my own little broken brain makes me intrigued about other's broken brain stories and Susannah Callahan, was in her early 20's when he brain decided to completely lose it and send her on this incredible journey of recovery. She suffers with a very rare auto-immune disease that presents itself in so many different ways that it's often misdiagnosed and can be deadly. Susannah's journey is inspirational, she went from being entirely lost inside herself to becoming an author - it's well worth a read and the Netflix film is very close to the book which is always a winner. 

There was a running theme of medical related books for a long time, again, being unwell last year has made me obsessed with hospital and trauma - much like when I was preggo and religiously watched one born every minute until I did it myself, I can't resist a good old medical memoir. The next book I read was Can you hear me? - A paramedic's memoir of working for the London Ambulance Service, Jake Jones recounts some of his most traumatic calls, his less traumatic ones and the hilarious ones, it's well worth a read if you're wanting to know more of the ambulance service and ALL the paperwork. A similar book I also read was Blood Sweat and Tea by Tom Reynolds, this book is a series of blog posts from Tom's blog (entitled the same), Tom gives hilarious accounts of his working life as well as critiques the shortfalls of the service and the daily struggles employees of the trust face. 

Continuing with the medical theme, I also read In Stitches by Dr Nick Edwards that did in fact have me in stitches (the metaphorical kind, just to clarify) as I said on my Instagram, the places that people put fruit are mind-blowing. In addition to this, I highly recommend Twas the nightshift before Christmas by Adam Kay as well as his first book, This is going to Hurt, both books had me crying and laughing at the same time and are probably the best starter-reads if you're wanting to get into medical book drama. The amount of pressure that NHS staff are put under is unbelievable and especially at a time like this, it's so important to have an insight into what life is truly like for these professionals or shall we say, heroes. 

The Doctor will see you now by Max Pemberton followed more of a plot surrounding Max's life with housemates (also working for the NHS bar one) and the struggles they faced daily at work. Again, an insight into the beurocracy of the trust as well as the more interesting and eccentric patients that were treated is so interesting. It was also nice to follow more of a narrative for a while as I'd probably overdone it slightly with the straight up memoirs. 

Getting back to preggo life, The Secret Midwife was a brilliant read. If you follow Erin you'll know that she's a student midwife and one of my favourite people, as I recall Erin was about 2 minutes (slight exaggeration) into her training and she was already catching babies all over the place, this book reflects how student midwives are quite literally chucked into the deep end and faced with the responsibility of life and sadly death. I'll never get my head around how midwives can be so comforting and reassuring and never look stressed also again, the paperwork, so much, all the time. If you're looking for an honest account of the life of a midwife then this is a must read.

I've never been to intensive care and I don't really fancy it to be honest but I was interested into finding out what it was like to work there so Seven signs of life called to me (another metaphor, I'm not hearing books speak) Aoife Abbey recounts her experience of working as a Dr in intensive care and it is deep, she candidly discusses the last moments of patient's lives and what "making them comfortable" actually means. Aoife focusses strongly on the seven key emotions we feel over our lifetime and how she relates to them in a work based perspective to herself, her patients and their families. At first this emotional account didn't speak to me but in retrospect, it's fascinating how Aoife can connect her experiences to specific emotions to cope with the often tragic circumstances that she has to manage at work.

Things took a slightly darker turn with Unnatural Causes, Dr Richard Shepherd recounts his entire career as a forensic pathologist, sharing his experience of the Hungerford Massacre, 7/7 bombings and various murders etc. he also very candidly and honestly speaks of the PTSD affects his work has had on his mental health and that of his family relationships. Unnatural causes gave a fantastic insight into forensic pathology and how autopsies are undertaken and the absolute grilling pathologists can get in caught that I was previously unaware of. 

The Brain by David Eagleman is very different to the books mentioned above - it covers how the brain develops and how life develops the brain in a really simple and very easy to understand language that doesn't blow your mind (see what I did there) I really enjoyed learning more about the brain without feeling like an idiot and not understanding half it. It's written in a really easy format that makes it, unlike most non-fiction reads, easy to follow without wanting to put it down and have a break. 

There you have it, a whistle stop tour of some of the best medical related books I've read over the past four weeks, is there even a name for this genre because I'm not keen on "medical related". I'll be posting about some of fiction books I've clapped my eyes on soon so keep an eye out for that if dead bodies, medical emergencies and giving birth isn't your jam but twisted thrillers are.

The dichotomy between fast fashion charity T-shirts is unavoidably obvious but equally irresistible. I'm pretty sure that a lot of people, like me, are spending our lockdown days in baggy t-shirts and leggings. What even are jeans please? I've been reaping the benefits of my Boohoo premier membership and have kitted myself out with a variety of over-sized t-shirts, leggings and some shorts (for that day when we had summer). There has been some uproar about fast-fashion over the past couple of years with people arguing the ethics and environmental consequences of being able to buy low quality products at exceptionally low prices and receive them the next day. Don't get me wrong here, I frequent the Boohoo app more times than I care to admit and the fact that I have a premier membership says enough doesn't it. 

That being said, I'm still more than aware of the damaging affects of fast fashion. Let's start with the financial aspect of it all - fast and cheap fashion is all my budget will allow. As much as I'd love to be able to buy higher quality clothes and call them "pieces", I can't. Boohoo and the like are quick, cheap and easily accessible but that doesn't mean that it doesn't come with a host of issues. Buying clothes online means constantly guessing sizes and learning what specific items will be true to size and what won't. I'm at a privileged advantage of being a size eight which means that I can mostly and arguably easily use the models as a point of reference (providing I imagine what the item of clothing would look like not pulled tight with a huge bulldog clip) and 90% of the time I win the size lottery. Those who have normal bodies - not the super slim, gravity defying smooth AF ones that the media would like us to think are average types, aren't given a visual point of reference and have to play clothes size roulette every time they pop something in that virtual shopping basket but... the low prices, constant sales and discount codes flashing about on the homepage like a NYE firework display make the gamble much more worthwhile. (I have to add here that although Boohoo and the like do have  a plus sized range, and the models are plus sized, they're still not representing the average plus sized body and don't even get me started on the ridiculous poses - I want to see how an outfit looks when I'm opening the door to my Amazon delivery driver and not when I'm doing taking three feet wide steps and dislocating my shoulder to try and seduce the camera). 

As I said, for me, the gamble mostly pays off and my baggy T-shirts and leggings almost always fit and are acceptable to wear, even outside the house; but when things don't fit, can I be arsed to go through the returns process? The answer is for the most part, no. Despite it being an easy process to print off the returns label and send that fanny-flashing dress on it's merry way to back to the warehouse to trick someone else, the ease of shoving it it at the back of my wardrobe in the hope it might grow a few inches far outweighs the ease of returning and it the mentality of "it was only a fiver" justifies it. 

Quality is another issue when it comes to fast fashion. In 2018 Boohoo launched a £5 dress range and the press reported that the quality was so low "even charity shops would turn them away". With fast fashion you predominantly get what you pay for, there's a vast difference between a £5 dress and a £25 dress and you're fool to think that anything under £7 isn't going to disintegrate in the wash or spontaneously combust in the sun. The cheapest items are usually made of synthetic fabrics, often being 100% polyester which we all know is horrendous for the environment but on a more narcissistic level, it almost never sits well on anyone's body, is often see-through and a magnet for sweat patches - if you think you're going to look like goddess after a night on the tiles in that £5 dress you need to not wear knickers and get some botox on your pits so that you never sweat again. Again the low cost price justifies the low quality and in turn justifies the arguable waste of money. 

The ethical and environmental factors when it comes to fast fashion are uncomfortable to say the least. The majority of Boohoo clothes are manufactured in factories across the UK which is why they're so easy to get via next day delivery as transporting them distribution centres can take just hours it also means that brands can churn out new lines in fast-fashion times and provide new collections at a click of our virtual fingers. Sounds great but it's been largely reported that the manufacturers working in the factories are often paid less than minimum wage and whilst this is something that government is trying to tackle, according to the Guardian in 2019 "MPs found that the Modern Slavery Act was not robust enough to stop wage exploitation at UK clothing factories. There was a lack of inspection or enforcement, allowing factories – none of which are unionised – to get away with paying illegal wages." Environmentally, the cheap fabric used to create many fast-fashion items from across the scope (I'm not just talking about Boohoo here) wreak havoc when it comes to pollution, with synthetic fabric causing up to 35% of microplastics in the ocean and unsold or used items being thrown away at alarming rates the wider impact that the use of these fabrics are having on the globe is not ok hun. 

So where do charity T-shirts come into this? Well mate, let's start at how quickly a fast fashion brand can chuck a charity T-shirt at us. After the Manchester bombings Bee T's were popping up all over the shot, when Caroline Flack tragically died, within days there were and still are T's being sold depicting a quote she fairly recently shared on her Instagram (in my opinion this is somewhat bad taste, making someones suicide a fashion statement so soon after her death and regardless of the profits going to charity just made me feel a bit, bleh) More recently, an NHS range has been produced with all profits going to, yeah, you guessed it, the NHS. The cheapest item is a T-shirt sold at a reasonable price of ten of your english pounds and what is it made of? yep you guessed again, 65% polyester and 35% cotton and let me tell you now, that little tinker needs to go on a cold wash or it'll be a cropped T-shirt before you can say "next day delivery". You're probably wondering if any of this matters because it's raising money for the NHS right? well, kind of but you see, the slight issue with this is that the T-shirt is in fact made in Pakistan and you can bet ten of your finest english pounds that the person who made it does not get a fair deal in this. 

However, I'm not one to knock fundraising and I did buy a charity T-shirt (as well as some other items to tide me through lockdown) and god knows the NHS needs all it can get and let it be known that I feel quite proud wearing my rainbow T knowing that I've contributed in chucking some dosh at the NHS but I also think it's really important that we're aware of the wider consequences of endorsing fast fashion. Will I be cancelling my Boohoo Premier membership and boycotting all fast fashion brands? absolutely not, it's convenient for both my grabby-need-it-now mentality and my bank balance. There's no doubt that if I could afford to I would invest in more sustainable stuff and does this make me a raging hypocrite? probably but I'm a conscious one....if that's even a thing.